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BATS
Bikes and Trikes Society

This page contains stuff that doesn’t belong anywhere else.

For a selection of jokes. Some Bike Ones, Some Rude, Some Funny, Some Not So. Read on:

 

A Billy Connolly quote: If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?

 

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When I was in the pub I heard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.  

What a pair of sexist twats.  I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!

 

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A woman had been on the game for 4 years and was worried about the size of her fanny on her wedding night so she decided to tell her husband she caught it climbing over a fence.

After an hour in bed with her he said "How far across the f**king field were you before you realised it was caught"

 

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The difference between BSE & PMT: One attacks the cow’s brain and sends it fecking mental, the other is some kind of agricultural problem……?.

 

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Wife says to husband "U only ever want sex when ur drunk"husband says "that’s not true....... sometimes I want a kebab"
 

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A pretty young gypsy girl knocked on my door and asked if I had any old clothing. I said Yes but what would I get in return. She said I could play with her breasts.

I thought…That’s Fair?Tit for Tat.
 

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Why men shouldn’t be Agony aunts:

Dear Phil
I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn’t start.
I walked back to my house and found my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter.
They announced that the affair had been going on for two years.
Can you help me…I’m desperate.

Dear Reader
The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines. Hope this helps.
Phil.
 

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I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!.

I panicked. I didn’t know what to do…………………Then I remembered, Wetherspoons serve breakfast until 11.30.
 

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News just in?There’s a female ref for the United v City match. The kick off has been put back an hour so she can park her car.
 

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My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. 

 

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For links to people or places we like:

 

Nick Gale Custom Cycles

Top custom bike builder and affordable servicing (Recommended by me).

 

Mad Products

Motorcycle Accessories Direct based at Chesham, parts and servicing. Nice people.

 

H Cafe

H Cafe (formerly Fox’s diner) Berinsfield on the A4074  Nr Oxford, a popular biker haunt with its own club.

 

Rykas Cafe

Ryka’s Cafe at Boxhill off the A24 is a well known and popular biker destination. Especially Sundays.

 

Skins Cafe

Skins Cafe at Brackley for a good coffee and M/C leathers.

 

Newlands Corner Cafe

Located about 7 miles from Ryka’s Cafe at Boxhill, this is another place where you find bikers meet.

 

GMS Servicing, Tel: 01494 484319

Our favourite coffee machine servicing and supply company www.gmsespresso.com

 

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